Swadbhare Jokes!

Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!


Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, 'Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta'
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!


10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of
accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi
Dasto hun bapu di maniye ya chache ki?

Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain?
Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!


Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai,
sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?


Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband &
the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...


Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha.
2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya.
3rd day koi aur ladki thi.
4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

The Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks him for his order.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That'll be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

3 Parrots Tale!

3 Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

Telephone Bill - Smile Please

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called ALL for a meeting...

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So, what is the problem? We ALL use our work telephones!!!!!