Visit Goa !! - Have Fun

The best way to change or enlighten your mood to visit some new place , what could be better than visiting GOA.It becomes more interesting if place is visited with 100% utilization of time.This can happen only if everything about GOA is known in advance. So below are the required details:

Goa
Famous Beaches : Calangute, Colva, Dona Paula, Vagator
Famous Churches : Se Cathedral, Basilica of Born Jesus
When To Go : September - March

Goa is located on the west coast of India,in the region known as the Konkan, near the state of Maharashtra, The Arabian Sea makes up the state’s west coast. Panaji is the state’s capital,
and Vasco its largest town.

Those who haven’t visited Goa tend to imagine it as some kind of Indian Costa Brava
However, Goa, like everywhere in India, is never quite what you expect.

The main draws of Goa are the beaches and churches, such as

Anjuna Beach:
Location : 8 km west of Mapusa, 18 km NW of Panaji
Main Attraction : Anjuna Flea Market, Baga Hill
What To Do : Shopping, Photography, Snorkelling, Bungee Jumping

Colva Beach:
Location : 6 km east of Margao in South Goa
Main Attractions : Church of Our Lady of Merces and Shack Cafés
What To Do : Beach combing, Colva Walk

Vagator Beach:
Location : 10 km from Mapusa
Famous As : Holiday Beach Destination
What To See : Chapora Fort, Ozrant Beach, Chapora Village

DONA PAULA BEACH
Location : 7 km from Panjim, Goa
Famous As : Holiday Beach Destination
What To See : Zuari Bridge, National Oceanography Institute, Cabo Raj Bhawan
What To Do : Water-skiing, Parasailing, Snorkelling and Harpoon fishing!

SE CATHEDRAL
Location : Old Goa
Built In : 1562 AD
Style of Architecture : Manueline with Corinthian
Nearby Attractions : Chapel of the Blessed Sacrament, The Cross of Miracles

HOUSE AND BASILICA OF BOM JESUS
Location : Old Goa
Architectural Style : Renaissance & Baroque Style
Originally Built In : 1585
What To See : Intricate Craftsmenship, Statue of St. Francis Xavier, Professed House

CASINOS IN GOA
Famous Casinos : Chances Casino, Treasures Casino, Winners Casino,Caravela
Games To Play : Black Jack, Rummy, Stud Poker, Baccarat and Flash among others

GOA NIGHTLIFE
Hot Night Beach Shacks : Calangute, Candolim, Anjuna
Famous Night Hubs : Bob’s Inn, Cavala, Cabana
Timeline : 11 pm to 6 am

CRUISING THE ARABIAN SEA
Location : Ballard Pier, Mumbai
Cruise Itinerary : Mumbai-Lakshadweep-Goa-Mumbai
Timeline : Depending on the cruise you pick, could be anywhere between 1-4 nights

The strategic itinerary of the sea cruise is planned to suit every tourist.
Depending on your interests and budget, this could be anywhere between one to four nights.
A few of the most popular cruise itineraries are:

· Mumbai-Goa-High Seas-Goa-Mumbai (3 nights)
· Mumbai-Goa-Mumbai (2 nights)
· Mumbai-High Sea-Mumbai (1 night)
· Mumbai-Lakshadweep-Goa-Mumbai (4 nights)
· Mumbai-Lakshadweep-Mumbai (3 nights)

The most popular celebrations in Goa are Ganesh Chaturthi (Chavoth-Konkani), Diwali,
Christmas, Easter, Samsar Padvo, Shigmo and the Carnival.

Transport in Goa:
Goa's public transport largely consists of privately operated buses linking the major towns to rural areas. Government-run buses, maintained the Kadamba Transport Corporation, links both major routes (like the Panjim–Margao route) and some remote parts of the state. In large towns such as Panjim and Margao, intra-city buses ply.

Languages:Konkani is the primary spoken language; Marathi and English are used for official,
literary, or educational purposes. Other languages include Hindi, Kannada and Portuguese.

Food:Rice with fish curry (Xit kodi in Konkani) is the staple diet in Goa.Coconut and coconut oil is widely used in Goan cooking along with chili peppers, spices and vinegar giving the food a unique flavour.Sannas a variant of idli and Koilori a variant of dosa are native to Goa.
A rich egg-based multi-layered sweet dish known as bebinca is a favourite at Christmas.
The most popular alcoholic beverage in Goa is feni; Cashew feni is made from the fermentation of the fruit of the cashew tree, while coconut feni is made from the sap of toddy palms.

Have a wonderful journey to GOA !

Would appreciate if you share your experience about your visit to GOA or any other wonderful place!!!

Thought of the Day!

Marriage is give and take. you 'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway.

The New Paradigm

The Moral is………….. Come to office on time & leave your office on time…

Happy Diwali!!!

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some
particular order in a closed
room with an
open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyze
the situation.

If they are counting the
bricks.
Put them in the accounts
department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the
whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the
bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the
bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks
into pieces.
Put them in information
technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried
different combinations, yet
not a brick has
been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for
the day.
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the
window.
Put them on strategic
planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
other and not a single brick
has been
moved.

Congratulate them and put them
in top management.

Swadbhare Jokes!

Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!


Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, 'Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta'
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!


10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of
accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi
Dasto hun bapu di maniye ya chache ki?

Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain?
Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!


Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai,
sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?


Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband &
the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...


Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha.
2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya.
3rd day koi aur ladki thi.
4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

The Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks him for his order.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That'll be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

3 Parrots Tale!

3 Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

Telephone Bill - Smile Please

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called ALL for a meeting...

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So, what is the problem? We ALL use our work telephones!!!!!

Ideal Wife!!

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I
clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,
perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly
dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the o fficer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his
wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your
radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
clenched teeth, 'Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of
&n bsp; my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

I love this part....

'Only when he's been drinking.'

What is height…21st Centuary

1. What is height of Fashion?
Ans : Dhoti with a zip .

2. What is height of Secrecy?
Ans : Offering blank visiting cards.

3. What is height of Active laziness?
Ans : Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Craziness?
Ans : Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Ans : Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her
last.

6. What is height of Stupidity?
Ans : A person looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

7. What is height of Honesty?
Ans : A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

8. What is height of Suicide?
Ans : A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

9. What is height of De-hydration?
Ans : A cow giving milk powder.

10. What is Height of Kanjoosi ?
Ans : Banta’s house has caught fire and he is giving miss calls to the
Fire brigade!!! The 21st Century Defined…

Our communication - Wireless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our youth - Jobless

Our food - Fatless

Our faith - Godless

Our labor - Effortless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our relation - Loveless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feeling - Heartless

Our politics - Clueless

Our education - Valueless

Our follies - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our boss - Brainless

Our Job - Thankless

Our Salary - Much less

For GALS searching software bridegrooms && GUYS who r Software bridegrooms!

Vidhya: hey! what is the matter you have called up all of a sudden?

Nithya : do u remember that my parents gave my horoscope, to search for a
suitable match, to many people? So many horoscopes of the groom has come..
in that 4-5 seems to match.. I don’t know which one to select, I am
confused because of it.
Vidhya: what is the confusion about?

Nithya: horoscopes of many software engineers have come. It seems now a
days, the software guys are wanting to marry girls in the other field.
That’s I why I don’t know whom I must select among this. You are a
software engineer na pls give me some suggestion .

vidhya: not a problem at all. So tell me the position that each one holds.

nithya: first is a manager.

vidhya: manager?? Then he will showcast himself that he is busy always. But
he will not do anything properly. He will get u 1 kg of rice and ask you to
prepare for the whole area say a village. He will get you mutton and ask
you to prepare chicken 65. Even if you protest telling you can’t make it,
he’ll not accept. He will tell you to work hard day and night to prepare
it. He will also tell he’ll provide you with the night cab. Even if you ask
how can I prepare chicken 65 out of it by sitting day and night he will not
accept.

Nithya: ohh..so dangerous he is!! Then I must escape. Next is a test
engineer.

vidhya: he is more dangerous than the other person. Whatever you do he will
correctly tell only the fault in it. Even if you try to surprise him with
10 variety of food, he will tell the item which does not have salt in it.
If you ask him “will you not at least tell that it is good”, he will reply
back saying it is your duty to make it good so why must I tell that. He is
sooo good.

Nithya: then a NO to him also. Next is the performance test engineer.

vidhya: he is another specimen.. even if everything is good, he will ask
why did it take this much time. If you take 10 minutes to make a coffee, he
will question you asking why you have taken 10 min for a coffee which can
be done within 5 min. Even if you say that he is talking about the instant
coffee while you have made the filter coffee, he will not accept. The same
will be with all the work you do. You must not think about this person if
you want to do make up in your life !!!

Nithya: then! you mean to say that we should not marry software guys??

Vidhya: who said like that?? In software there is one more group. They are
called the developers group. How much ever you hit them they will bear.

Nithya: then tell about them.

Vidhya: you don’t have to do anything. They will do everything themselves.
If we sit back and just boost them it is enough. But the problem with them
is- they will say “I know it” whatever you ask them.
Even that is ok. They will bear how much ever you hit them but the
condition is you must keep saying “you are too good” after hitting them
every time.
Nithya: this is superb. Then we must search for this kind of a groom….

hahaha….

Chatting can confuse too!!

Our FRIEND WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.

Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC’s

Male : Hey…GM (Good Morning)… How’s u doing today?

Female : VGM…Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Male : wow…am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female : Yep…me too feel the same…Brb (be right back)’ll get some Coffee.

Male : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager : Hey, I need some help from you

Male : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n.
Would you give this by today evening?

Male : I would do that, but I think it’s quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All
of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window…)

Female : Hey, am back

Male : cool, you know what my manager does, She’s kinda….. keeps asking stupid Things,
tries to give me stupid work

Female : Yeah, it’s the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Male : Yep, u rite!!

Female : Hey, can u do me a favor

Male : *smiles* sure, why not.

Female : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would
you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it’s real Urgent for me to work this out

Male : hey, that’s a one-hour’s work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!
AND ONE MORE POINT…. YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

Funny Tech Support conversations

1). Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
2) Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”

Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”

Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

3).Customer: : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”

Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”

Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”

Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”

Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”

Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”

Customer:: “What?”

Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”

Customer: “No…”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

4).Customer: : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

5).Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”

Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

6) Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”

Customer:: “A white one.”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

7). Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”

Customer:: “How do you spell that?”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

8). Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”

Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

9). Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”

Customer: “Pentium.”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

10). Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –11). Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support: “What does it say?”

Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

12). Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

13). Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”

Tech Support:: “Well?”

Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

14). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?