1) I have already enjoyed my life in childhood
2) I love tension
3) I don’t want to spend time wid my friends
4) I love night duties
5) I love to work on Sundays and holidays
6) I want to take revenge on myself
7) I don’t want to get married b4 30 yrs of age
8) I want to study until my death
9) I don’t want hair on my head :)
Mginger
Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Friday, December 10, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
My review on Movie Break ke Baad
Movie is mix of positive and negative waves. It seems to be movie college going guys and gals as I am sure no one else gona digest it. One very outgoing and modern gal (Heroine) gets along with very sober, simple, sweet guy (Hero) , amazing part is , they start liking each other from their childhood. After a While..10 yrs, gal started realizing that she has so many dreams to fulfill in her life and this relationship is holding her from achieving that ..so she take a freaky decision of breaking the relationship for sometime ….now what all happens in their life …how they feel during this time …is what all to see ..
Few songs and nice songs: good part of the movie.
In all its so –so movie or you can say okie timepass , Do keep your brain out while watching it ….as it’s a very lite movie …
Do let me know about your view about movie...
Few songs and nice songs: good part of the movie.
In all its so –so movie or you can say okie timepass , Do keep your brain out while watching it ….as it’s a very lite movie …
Do let me know about your view about movie...
Monday, November 22, 2010
Laughter is the best medicine
1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called "Saints", But now they are called.. "IT professionals"
2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt : "If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
3) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that, One loves too much, And the other loves too many.
4) Employee: Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company!
5) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6) Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: That's good, Give me 12 of them..!
7) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you..! "
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
8) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee..... Leave them to us.
2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt : "If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
3) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that, One loves too much, And the other loves too many.
4) Employee: Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company!
5) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6) Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: That's good, Give me 12 of them..!
7) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you..! "
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
8) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee..... Leave them to us.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
How to stay awake in meetings?
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5' x 5' is a good size. Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy
revisit
benchmark
fast track
touch base
strategic fit
expeditious
value-added
result-driven
mindset
core competencies
to tell you the truth (or 'the truth is')
proactive
empower (or empowerment)
client focus(ed)
best practice
24/7
win-win
knowledge base
paradigm
bottom line
out of the loop
think outside the box
at the end of the day
game plan
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout 'BULLSHIT!'
Testimonials from satisfied 'Bull Shit Bingo' players:
'I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won.' - Adam, Atlanta
'My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically.' - David, Florida
'What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win.' - Dan, New York City
'The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box.' - Ben, Denver
'The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours.' - Paul, Cleveland
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5' x 5' is a good size. Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy
revisit
benchmark
fast track
touch base
strategic fit
expeditious
value-added
result-driven
mindset
core competencies
to tell you the truth (or 'the truth is')
proactive
empower (or empowerment)
client focus(ed)
best practice
24/7
win-win
knowledge base
paradigm
bottom line
out of the loop
think outside the box
at the end of the day
game plan
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout 'BULLSHIT!'
Testimonials from satisfied 'Bull Shit Bingo' players:
'I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won.' - Adam, Atlanta
'My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically.' - David, Florida
'What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win.' - Dan, New York City
'The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box.' - Ben, Denver
'The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours.' - Paul, Cleveland
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Missing Husband!!!!!!!!!
A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman Not slim can be health
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
The woman started crying
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!! !!!!!!
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman Not slim can be health
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
The woman started crying
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!! !!!!!!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Most damaging Food !!!!
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake.
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
External Affair!!!! --- Jokes
The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"
The 2nd Affair:
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"
The 3th Affair:
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
The 4th Affair:
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
The 5th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"
The 2nd Affair:
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"
The 3th Affair:
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
The 4th Affair:
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
The 5th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Ek Chutki Code!!
Ek line code ki keemat tum kya jaano HR Babu?
Ishwar ka ashirwaad hota hai ek line code
Developer ke sar ka taj hota hai ek line code
Har bench resource ka khwaab hota hai ek line code"
"Hamari Hindi filmon ki tarah hamare
Projects mein aakhir tak sab kuch theek ho jaata hai ......
Happyzz Endingzzz .......
Aur agar aisa na ho to samjho
Project abhi baaki hai mere DOST ......"
Friday, February 6, 2009
Classic Interview
Officer : What Is Your Name?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....?
Officer : Mp!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir?
Officer : Mentally Puncture
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....?
Officer : Mp!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir?
Officer : Mentally Puncture
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thought of the Day!
Marriage is give and take. you 'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Swadbhare Jokes!
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, 'Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta'
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!
10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of
accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi
Dasto hun bapu di maniye ya chache ki?
Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain?
Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!
Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai,
sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband &
the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha.
2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya.
3rd day koi aur ladki thi.
4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, 'Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta'
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!
10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of
accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi
Dasto hun bapu di maniye ya chache ki?
Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain?
Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!
Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai,
sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband &
the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha.
2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya.
3rd day koi aur ladki thi.
4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
Friday, September 26, 2008
3 Parrots Tale!
3 Parrots
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Chatting can confuse too!!
Our FRIEND WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC’s
Male : Hey…GM (Good Morning)… How’s u doing today?
Female : VGM…Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Male : wow…am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female : Yep…me too feel the same…Brb (be right back)’ll get some Coffee.
Male : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Male : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n.
Would you give this by today evening?
Male : I would do that, but I think it’s quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All
of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window…)
Female : Hey, am back
Male : cool, you know what my manager does, She’s kinda….. keeps asking stupid Things,
tries to give me stupid work
Female : Yeah, it’s the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Male : Yep, u rite!!
Female : Hey, can u do me a favor
Male : *smiles* sure, why not.
Female : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would
you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it’s real Urgent for me to work this out
Male : hey, that’s a one-hour’s work. Sure check
AND ONE MORE POINT…. YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Duniya Gol Hai
Zindagi hai to Khwaab Hai
__Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai
____Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai
__________Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai
_____________Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai
___________________Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai
_________________________Hausla Hai To Vishawas Hai
_____________________________Vishvas hai to Paisa hai
_______________________________Paisa hai to Shohrat hai
_____________________________________Shohrat hai to Izzat Hai
_________________________________________Izzat hai to Ladki hai
______________________________________Ladki hai to Tension hai
________________________________Tension hai to Concern hai
__________________________Concern hai to a Khayaal hai
______________________Khayaal hai to Khwaab hai
_________________Khawab hai to Growth hai
__________Growth hai to Zindagi hai
______Zindagi hai to khwaab hai
__Matlab duniya Gol Gol hai
Bas ghumnewala chahiye
__Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai
____Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai
__________Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai
_____________Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai
___________________Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai
_________________________Hausla Hai To Vishawas Hai
_____________________________Vishvas hai to Paisa hai
_______________________________Paisa hai to Shohrat hai
_____________________________________Shohrat hai to Izzat Hai
_________________________________________Izzat hai to Ladki hai
______________________________________Ladki hai to Tension hai
________________________________Tension hai to Concern hai
__________________________Concern hai to a Khayaal hai
______________________Khayaal hai to Khwaab hai
_________________Khawab hai to Growth hai
__________Growth hai to Zindagi hai
______Zindagi hai to khwaab hai
__Matlab duniya Gol Gol hai
Bas ghumnewala chahiye
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